The older I get, the less patient I am. Tiny inconveniences drive me up the wall. My life is good, I have no complaints, so where did my patience go?

Frustration number one: slow internet. I have wifi. It’s usually good. I’m spoiled. When it’s not good, or nonexistent, my body tightens and I feel my teeth grinding. Capt. Mark, who has more to complain about than I do, is the voice of reason. “Relax,” he says in a calm tone. “Remember the words of Guru Vinnie. It doesn’t really matter.”

I don’t know who Guru Vinnie was, but I think he was one of Capt. Mark’s coaches in college. His name comes up pretty often when I’m on a rant. He must not have had slow internet.

Frustration number two: misplacing something I need RIGHT NOW. I haven’t gotten to the stage where I’ve found keys in the refrigerator, but close. A search ensues. I go to where I think the missing item is. Not there. After much agitation, the consumption of at least two handfuls of semi-sweet chocolate chips destined for cookies, and tears of frustration (depending on how important the item is), I go back to the original place of search. Nine times out of ten it magically appears. It was under something or tucked between something else. But it was there.

Frustration number three: filling out forms asking for information you have to look up in old files. What? You want to know the date I moved into my last house? Year, yes. Month, maybe. I have that information somewhere, but where? Another search ensues. I remember I had to go pick up the cat and Capt. Mark was in a play and I was going to be late. Date? Really? This one is less frustrating because my spouse keeps excellent records. I just had to put my hands on the right file.

Frustration number four: all my favorite sports teams losing in the same weekend. I’m a San Francisco Giants fan, a UCLA Bruins fan, and an Arizona Cardinals fan.

Enough said.